via HuffPostWomen – This Hair Ad Reveals A Critical Truth About Domestic Violence

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According to the Bangladesh Bureau of Statistics of 2011, around 87% of married women had experienced violence at the hands of their current partners. via @HuffPostWomen



by Mariana Laviaguerre


If you suspect a child is being abused or neglected, or if you are a child who is being maltreated, contact your local child protective services office or law enforcement agency so professionals can assess the situation. Many States have a toll-free number to call to report suspected child abuse or neglect. To find out where to call, visit

Childhelp® is a national organization that provides crisis assistance and other counseling and referral services. The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline external links staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with professional crisis counselors who have access to a database of 55,000 emergencies, social service, and support resources. All calls are anonymous.

Domestic Violence Burn Victim Speaks Out—Trigger Warning — The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel

As I have read today about this case of domestic violence, my heart truly goes out to this brave burn victim who has a message for all women from her hospital bed. She wants all to know that verbal abuse leads to physical abuse and if in an abusive relationship, to get out. What this […]

via Domestic Violence Burn Victim Speaks Out—Trigger Warning — The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel

#wearethesame Urging to place women’s empowerment


We Are All The Same Project ideas started with my sketchbook, #weareathesame, that I made for The Sketchbook Project organized by the Brooklyn Art Library.

#weareallthesame is a piece that tries to translate the pain and the blood of every single woman who is suffering from sexual exploitation and domestic violence. Every person who touches this book is literally going to be marked. I hope that attention-getting effect pushes each individual to speak out about these issues.

I witnessed domestic violence in my family, and it is very challenging to talk about it. The victims and the aggressors of my life were people that I love and I loved (passed away). In summary, the internal mental and emotional scars are going to be carried with me for my entire life; these memories are translated to people around me thru my speech and anxiety. Speaking out thru art and media is fighting against domestic violence and human trafficking.** It is also an urging to place gender equality and women’s empowerment paramount within our society.


Every time that I meet my friends from college, they remind me how crazy I was for reporting illegal transsexual prostitution, writing about drug trafficking, and dreaming about covering national and international wars. The dream never happened. I believe that my choices were for the best in order to heal various personal issues.

However, an outstanding opportunity to be working for the research department of Half the Sky a few years ago made my urge of speaking out about society issues awaken even further. Working for only six months, I had the opportunity to speak with people from different cultures and classes who were trafficked, who suffered all kinds of abuse at home and on the street. So many stories were told to me, and so deeply moved me, that I decided to do my own research after I finished that project. My friends from college, and I, applied for a different fund in Brazil to report stories of women that were forced into slavery in the sex tourism industry, girls who were trafficked into Spain and many more sad stories of kids who are sexually abused by their parents by the age of 5.

Shocked, by how some people can be so cruel, combined with my own experiences of witnessing domestic violence, made me create this project to speak up about the abuses, but those negative actions also promoted the gender equality and women’s empowerment I am driven to make a reality now! My personal goal is to study deeply how race, sexual inequality, history, women’s behaviors and combined projects are the sequential result of an abusive society.

Click here to see more pictures of my sketchbook:

Unedited Story of Melissa

December 10, 2015

by Melissa

A year ago today I woke up for the first time in awhile feeling happy. Night prior he packed his things, we went and turned in his key and this morning he left. Why did I think it would go that smoothly I don’t know. 3hrs after I got to work the messages started pouring in “your this ..” “your worthless” “how you put me out like this”. Mind you this was for all purposes a grown 37 year old man. I still can’t say I was shocked at what I found when I got home that night. My son and I got home around 7 because my car was in the shop so we had to take the train around. Opened the door and it looked like a truck ran thru my apartment. Furniture flipped over cut ripped and destroyed, all my clothes cut into pieces.


Realized that the only clothing I owned was the tee shirt and skirt I was wearing. Christmas items stolen, my sons electronics gone. Pure craziness. That’s what the cop said when he arrived “What kind of person would do something like this.” A narcissist that’s who! There was nothing the cops could do because both our names were on the lease even though keys had been turned in. And come to find out he did turn in A key but obviously had a copy.


I thank God for family and friends that helped me pick up the pieces. He never came back, well at least not the times I was there packing up what little was left. I tried filling an EPO but of course nothing in the messages or emails I saved were really life threatening. I attempted to go thru with pressing charges on an old domestic violence incident, the first time he beat me. I was past the statute of limitations. I was stuck. He was really going to get away with everything and I had no one to blame but myself.  I should of went thru with pressing charges the first time. Maybe things would of turned out differently. But honestly I can’t play with shoulda, woulda, coulda game. 

I’m blessed regardless. 

I was able to get out. Those things he took from me were just that..things! Replaceable. My life and sons life aren’t. 

A year later I’m in a better mind set. I’m able to talk about it, something I never thought I’d do. I always thought it’d be my secret. But who does that help? Not me and certainly not someone who maybe going thru it. I’m happy, I’m in love with a great man. 

I can say I have forgiven my ex. It wasn’t easy. But I had to do it for me! 

My prayer is that by me sharing my story I’m able to help someone. So if you know someone in similar situation share these posts with them. Most importantly don’t tell them what they should do just be available and ready to help when they’re ready. 

Brazil’s Problem: Violence Against Women — Girls’ Globe

I am Brazilian and the facts listed below break my heart.

  • According to the UN, Brazil has the 5th highest index of femicides in the world.
  • According to PRI, “the number of women killed in homicides in Brazil keeps on increasing”
  • Also according to PRI, this number is higher among black women, which highlights racial discrimination issues that also plague Brazil.
  • According to the Mapa da Violência 2015 (“Map of Violence 2015”), the main source of data and information on the topic in the country, there are 13 femicides every day in Brazil.

Read the complete article below.

The movement #NiUnaMenos started in Argentina, but its message and impact has crossed the borders of the country and is now the voice of all Latin America protesting violence against women. On November 25th, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women established by the United Nations, women marched in Rio de Janeiro, São […]

via Brazil’s Problem: Violence Against Women — Girls’ Globe

“Do not cover domestic violence with makeup, condemn the aggressor!”


Moroccan state TV is being bombarded by activists after airing a tutorial showing women how to cover up bruises from domestic abuse. According to the Huffington Post, “Sabahiyat,” a show that airs on the state’s Channel 2M, aired a segment on Nov. 23 couple of days before the International for Elimination of Violence Against Women.

Domestic Violence affects millions of women and children all over the World and the truth cannot be long hidden. We need to be respected and we must speak up. is taking action and it is a great opportunity for all of us to stand up for women  rights. “Do not cover domestic violence with makeup, condemn the aggressor!”

Click here to sign the petition

If you need help in United States – call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233

Click here to read the complete article at Huffington Post

The Forgiveness Workbook created by The Butterfly Project

Dear Readers,

As we all know, forgiving somebody who has hurt us is very hard, but I encourage you to try all the tools that are available to heal your heart and mind. I came across the workbook, Forgiveness, created by The Butterfly project and decided to share with you this guide that might make the healing process manageable.

The Butterfly Project is an organization, located in Houston, Texas, that provides help to women that is going or went thru an abusive relationship.

To learn more about The Butterfly Project:

To download the Forgiveness Workbook complete copy:

“Remember, the road won’t be easy, but at the end, it will be worth it.”

Inspire for a better life.


Off To A Bad Start: Being Born A Female

By Dr. Jacqueline

I am so profoundly grateful that traumatic scars are not visible from the outside. Had they been, I would have lived my life looking like Cher’s son in “Mask.” Instead, I was beaten and emotionally abused entirely because of my gender. I was raped and impregnated entirely because of my gender. My first child was legally taken from me entirely because of his gender, ‘Had you given birth to a girl, we would have given her up for adoption,” my mother smirked as she told me just hours after my son was born.

In January of 1962, I was almost 15 years of age, but by today’s standards, what I knew about my body, reproduction, or sex in general was about that of today’s toddlers. There was no Internet in 1962, no sex education classes, no older or young siblings in my home, no long term friendships in my transient military lifestyle (I’d experienced 23 moves by age eight), and no access to books to answer any questions about how my body functioned. Not once had my mother said, “I love you,” read me a story, or said a kind word to me. She was totally absorbed in staying a numb as possible with alcohol and prescription drugs while finding fault with anything I did or said. Yet, she talked a lot in public to strangers, “I wanted six tall sons, and all I got was Jackie,” was her mantra.

She beat me many times a month. Also, she kept detailed lists of what she considered to be my transgressions to make sure each one was converted into another physical beating as soon as my father returned home. She bragged to others about her adeptness with making sure I was never “a spoiled only child.” Not a single teacher, military staff, or military medical personnel ever questioned my body having bruises in various states of healing.

My father was usually away (as long as a year) following military orders. I learned later that he applied for as many T.D.Y’s (temporary active duty) as possible. He did anything to be away from my overbearing, always complaining, alcoholic mother. He told me that she was a total embarrassment to him and kept him from ever making permanent officer status; he was a Warrant Officer when he served in WWII.

My parents knew each other only 28 days before their wedding: August 6, 1940. My Roman Catholic Polish father was 5’ 8” tall then; my Lutheran Scottish heritage mother was 6’ 1.” His parents disowned the couple. The “why” reply they each gave in to years of questions from friends about their initial attraction was: “We both dreamed of having six tall sons.”

My mother was, as usual, in bed that early January morning when Bill Fulford (18), a Navy dependent, came over to get me to walk to school. I was wearing a large circle skirt, down to the top of my Bobby Socks, over at least one 100-yard stiffly starched petticoat. I did not refuse when Bill wanted to hold me gently and lovingly on our couch, “To neck” he said. But somehow, though all that nylon, he ejaculated on my underwear. I was too ignorant to know what on earth that wetness was that I asked him about as we walked to school. “It’s nothing,” he replied.

But, soon I found out that it was not – “nothing;” I was pregnant.

Before and since January 1962, my body was knocked down, kicked, and beaten with hands, sticks, wooden paddles, rulers, metal fly-swatters (with the fabric gone, so the rusty wire cut me) and more. However, after that date, each beating ended with military issue steel toed black leather boots with zippers to hold in extra insulation and weight was driven into my body lying sprawled out on the floor. Today, my hips, back, and legs hurt all the time; my spine is horribly twisted and my knees fail me. I think you now know why.

By May 1962, I was in Trenton, New Jersey, in a nunnery. To this day, I have a dear friend, “My Big Sister” from those months of being hidden away. As I gave birth before the age of 16, I lost legal rights to my perfect baby boy. All I was able to offer him was his first name. My parents pretended they adopted him. I came home to even more hatred being expressed toward my gender: “A son would never have caused us this grief!” they yelled at me. I felt so dirty.

So, I married a man whose parents were kind to me; I ignored the fact that he was so much like my mother. He was also an alcoholic and physically violent, but that was my normal. He needed to have a child to avoid the draft; I was proven to be fertile and willing to work outside the home. As soon as my gorgeous daughter was born, and appeared to be going to live (she three holes in her heart, and had suffered a heart attack at four-and-a-half months of age), he left us to be with the lady whom he had been in love with for years.

Soon, I was a divorcee, a mother, and “Just a waitress” at just barely 19 of age. My parents had disowned me, my beloved maternal grandparents were dead, and I had never had contact with any other relatives. So, I married a certified brilliant, but mentally twisted, father of two who said he loved the idea of a blended family. Again, I ignored the fact that he was an alcoholic and physically violent toward me, as once again that was my normal.

My oldest son was 5 when his daughter (then 6), his son (then 4) and my daughter (then 3), became a family. For nearly seven years, I worked three jobs help him to be awarded a Ph.D. at the University of Illinois without any debt and to pay child support for his daughter and son. He beat me even outdoors in front of the neighbors, and yet, no one ever stopped him – even the police I called.

The day he graduated he announced at the dinner table, “From now on you will all call me Sir!” When I laughed, he slapped me so hard my body went through the doorway into the living room. A few weeks later, I found him having sex with our foster daughter – she was 17. Later I learned that he was also having sex with my oldest son at the same time. Although we divorced in 1974, it was not until his death in February of 2015 that his bullying of me ceased. His last revenge for not staying married to him was to instill in my oldest son the same disrespectful attitude toward women that Donald Trump’s video released in October 2016 displayed.

It was a long hard road to learn to love myself; it took nearly half a century. I did many things to assure myself that I was loveable. The first was entering college late in life, and the last was getting my doctorate in 2010; that was 43 years after I swore that I would earn a Ph.D.

Today, I focus on empowering those who are ESL or Special Education students, especially girls. I have over 20 years of marriage to my best friend. I have been an ordained minister and the manager of a non-profit since 1986. And, last but very far from least, I have a daughter whom I love, respect, and could not imagine being more perfect. She too has spent her adult empowering girls and women.

Face The Fear of Being Judged: Speak Out About Domestic Violence

by Vanessa Daniela

Being embarrassed, ashamed and afraid are some of the feelings that a lot of us keep to ourselves especially after eyewitness or suffer from domestic violence. October is the Domestic Violence Awareness month, and the statistics show that a lot of women still experience traumatic situations in their lifetime. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1 in 5 women has been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their life.

Usually, the women abused by an intimate partner are between the ages of 18 – 24. However, I have known a lot of women, who as seniors report that they were abused their entire life. Although they never reported that behavior, that outcome was because girls, since childhood, are taught the social norms of gender inequality. A husband, father or any other male family member had the right to punish a female relative for imagined or actual infractions. Anything the male did not like, at the time, was a trigger for physical, verbal, or emotional punishment. Unfortunately, most of the statistics are based on published reports; those women who never reported their abuse, what and how they suffered, will ever be counted.

Beside of fear or more retaliation, female victims feel unable to speak out even years later. Many reasons can cause a victim to shut down or even to commit suicide: the fear of exposing a family member, of being threated by the aggressor, be judged by a family are only a handful of truths that surround the victims of domestic violence with an on-going feeling of hopelessness.

Unfortunately, our society tends to criticize and blame those females who went thru abusive repressions, “Why did she not speak up?” strangers outside the situation will ask. However, those unenlightened people with questions like that should be saying instead, “Do not let them push you down! Be strong and speak out. Despite all, please remember your life and your children’s lives are precious, and nobody deserves to live in inhuman situation,” and then working to help empower additional victims.

If you are the victim of aggression, please contact the closest coalition near your home. Be aware that a lot of centers are not open 24/7.

If it is an emergency – contact 911.

Please find below the list of the Coalitions per state:

Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence
P.O. Box 4762
Montgomery, AL 36101
(334) 832-4842 Fax: (334) 832-4803
(800) 650-6522 Hotline

Alaska Network on Domestic and Sexual Violence
130 Seward Street, Suite 14
Juneau, AK 99801
(907) 586-3650 Fax: (907) 463-4493

Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence
2800 N. Central Avenue, Suite 1570
Phoenix, AZ 85004
(602) 279-2900 Fax: (844) 252-3094
(800) 782-6400 Nationwide

Arkansas Coalition Against Domestic Violence
1401 West Capitol Avenue, Suite 170
Little Rock, AR 72201
(501) 907-5612 Fax: (501) 907-5618
(800) 269-4668 Nationwide

California Partnership to End Domestic Violence
P.O. Box 1798
Sacramento, CA 95812
(916) 444-7163 Fax: (916) 444-7165
(800) 524-4765 Nationwide

Colorado Coalition Against Domestic Violence
1120 Lincoln Street, Suite 900
Denver, CO 80203
(303) 831-9632 Fax: (303) 832-7067
(888) 778-7091

Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence
912 Silas Deane Highway, Lower Level
Wethersfield, CT 06109
(860) 282-7899 Fax: (860) 282-7892
(888) 774-2900 In State DV Hotline

Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence
100 West 10th Street, Suite 903
Wilmington, DE 19801
(302) 658-2958 Fax: (302) 658-5049
(800) 701-0456 Statewide

DC Coalition Against Domestic Violence
5 Thomas Circle Northwest
Washington, DC 20005
(202) 299-1181 Fax: (202) 299-1193

Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence
425 Office Plaza Drive
Tallahassee, FL 32301
(850) 425-2749 Fax: (850) 425-3091
(850) 621-4202 TDD
(800) 500-1119 In State

Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence
114 New Street, Suite B
Decatur, GA 30030
(404) 209-0280 Fax: (404) 766-3800
(800) 334-2836 Crisis Line

Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence
810 Richards Street, Suite 960
Honolulu, HI 96813
(808) 832-9316 Fax: (808) 841-6028

Idaho Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence
300 E. Mallard Drive, Suite 130
Boise, ID 83706
(208) 384-0419 Fax: (208) 331-0687
(888) 293-6118 Nationwide

Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence
801 South 11th Street
Springfield, IL 62703
(217) 789-2830 Fax: (217) 789-1939
(217) 242-0376 TTY

Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence
1915 West 18th Street, Suite B
Indianapolis, IN 46202
(317) 917-3685 Fax: (317) 917-3695
(800) 332-7385 In State

Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence
3030 Merle Hay Road
Des Moines, IA 50312
(515) 244-8028 Fax: (515) 244-7417
(800) 942-0333 In State Hotline

Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence
634 Southwest Harrison Street
Topeka, KS 66603
(785) 232-9784 Fax: (785) 266-1874

Kentucky Domestic Violence Association
111 Darby Shire Circle
Frankfort, KY 40601
(502) 209-5382 Phone Fax (502) 226-5382

Louisiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence
P.O. Box 77308
Baton Rouge, LA 70879
(225) 752-1296 Fax: (225) 751-8927

Maine Coalition To End Domestic Violence
One Weston Court, Box #2
Augusta, ME 04330
(207) 430-8334 Fax: (207) 430-8348

Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence
4601 Presidents Drive, Suite 370
Lanham, MD 20706
(301) 352-4574 Fax: (301) 809-0422
(800) 634-3577 Nationwide

Jane Doe, Inc./Massachusetts Coalition Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence
14 Beacon Street, Suite 507
Boston, MA 02108
(617) 248-0922 Fax: (617) 248-0902
(617) 263-2200 TTY/TDD

Michigan Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
3893 Okemos Road, Suite B-2
Okemos, MI 48864
(517) 347-7000 Phone/TTY Fax: (517) 248-0902

Minnesota Coalition For Battered Women
60 E. Plato Blvd., Suite 130
St. Paul, MN 55107
(651) 646-6177 Fax: (651) 646-1527
(651) 646-0994 Crisis Line
(800) 289-6177 Nationwide

Mississippi Coalition Against Domestic Violence
P.O. Box 4703
Jackson, MS 39296
(601) 981-9196 Fax: (601) 981-2501
(800) 898-3234

Missouri Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
217 Oscar Drive, Suite A
Jefferson City, MO 65101
(573) 634-4161 Fax: (573) 636-3728

Montana Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence
P.O. Box 818
Helena, MT 59624
(406) 443-7794 Fax: (406) 443-7818
(888) 404-7794 Nationwide

Nebraska Domestic Violence Sexual Assault Coalition
245 S. 84th Street, Suite 200
Lincoln, NE 68510
(402) 476-6256 Fax: (402) 476-6806
(800) 876-6238 In State Hotline
(877) 215-0167 Spanish Hotline

Nevada Network Against Domestic Violence
250 South Rock BLVD., Suite 116
Reno, NV 89502
(775) 828-1115 Fax: (775) 828-9911

New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
P.O. Box 353
Concord, NH 03302
(603) 224-8893 Fax: (603) 228-6096
(866) 644-3574 In State

New Jersey Coalition for Battered Women
1670 Whitehorse Hamilton Square Road
Trenton, NJ 08690
(609) 584-8107 Fax: (609) 584-9750
(800) 572-7233 In State

New Mexico Coalition Against Domestic Violence
1210 Luisa Street, Suite 7
Santa Fe, NM 87505
(505) 246-9240 Fax: (505) 246-9434
(800) 773-3645 In State

New York State Coalition Against Domestic Violence
119 Washington Avenue, 3rd Floor
Albany, NY 12054
(518) 482-5464 Fax: (518) 482-3807
(800) 942-5465 English-In State
(800) 942-6908 Spanish-In State

North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence
3710 University Drive, Suite 140
Durham, NC 27707
(919) 956-9124 Fax: (919) 682-1449
(888) 997-9124

North Dakota Council on Abused Women’s Services
525 N. 4th Street
Bismarck, ND 5850
(701) 255-6240 Fax: (701) 255-1904
(888) 255-6240 Nationwide

Action Ohio Coalition For Battered Women
5900 Roche Drive, Suite 445
Columbus, OH 43229
(614) 825-0551 Fax: (614) 825-0673
(888) 622-9315 In State

Ohio Domestic Violence Network
4807 Evanswood Drive, Suite 201
Columbus, OH 43229
(614) 781-9651 Fax: (614) 781-9652
(614) 781-9654 TTY
(800) 934-9840

Oklahoma Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
3815 North Santa Fe Avenue, Suite 124
Oklahoma City, OK 73118
(405) 524-0700 Fax: (405) 524-0711

Oregon Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
1737 NE Alberta Street, Suite 205
Portland, OR 97211
(503) 230-1951 Fax: (503) 230-1973
(877) 230-1951

Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence
3605 Vartan Way, Suite 101
Harrisburg, PA 17110
(717) 545-6400 Fax: (717) 545-9456
(800) 932-4632 Nationwide

The Office of Women Advocates
Box 11382
Fernandez Juancus Station
Santurce, PR 00910
(787) 721-7676 Fax: (787) 725-9248

Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence
422 Post Road, Suite 102
Warwick, RI 02888
(401) 467-9940 Fax: (401) 467-9943
(800) 494-8100 In State

South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
P.O. Box 7776
Columbia, SC 29202
(803) 256-2900 Fax: (803) 256-1030
(800) 260-9293 Nationwide

South Dakota Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault
P.O. Box 141
Pierre, SD 57501
(605) 945-0869 Fax: (605) 945-0870
(800) 572-9196 Nationwide

Tennessee Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
2 International Plaza Drive, Suite 425
Nashville, TN 37217
(615) 386-9406 Fax: (615) 383-2967
(800) 289-9018 In State

Texas Council On Family Violence
P.O. Box 163865
Austin, TX 78716
(512) 794-1133 Fax: (512) 794-1199

Utah Domestic Violence Council
205 North 400 West
Salt Lake City, UT 84103
(801) 521-5544 Fax: (801) 521-5548

Vermont Network Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
P.O. Box 405
Montpelier, VT 05601
(802) 223-1302 Fax: (802) 223-6943
(802) 223-1115 TTY

Women’s Coalition of St. Croix
P.O. Box 222734
St. Croix, VI 00822
(340) 773-9272 Fax: (340) 773-9062

Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action Alliance
5008 Monument Avenue, Suite A
Richmond, VA 23230
Office: 804.377.0335 Fax: 804.377.0339

Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence
711 Capitol Way, Suite 702
Olympia, WA 98501
(360) 586-1022 Fax: (360) 586-1024
(360) 586-1029 TTY

1402 Third Avenue, Suite 406
Seattle, WA 98101
(206) 389-2515 Fax: (206) 389-2520
(800) 886-2880 In State
(206) 389-2900 TTY

Washington State Native American Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Assault
P.O. Box 13260
Olympia, WA 98508
(360) 352-3120 Fax: (360) 357-3858
(888) 352-3120

West Virginia Coalition Against Domestic Violence
5004 Elk River Road South
Elkview, WV 25071
(304) 965-3552 Fax: (304) 965-3572

End Domestic Abuse Wisconsin: The Wisconsin Coalition Against Domestic Violence
1245 East Washington Avenue, Suite 150
Madison, WI 53703
(608) 255-0539 Fax: (608) 255-3560

Wyoming Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
P.O. Box 236
710 Garfield Street, Suite 218
Laramie, WY 82073
(307) 755-5481 Fax: (307) 755-5482
(800) 990-3877 Nationwide

Experiencing Physical Abuse

Like Success

by Melissa

I did not think that my first domestic violence experience was abuse. I was in my late teens and early 20s. I lived with my boyfriend, who years later would be my son’s father. We used to get along well, but we would argue. Of course, I thought this was normal. What relationship doesn’t have problems?

We used to have a vehicle that was mine. My boyfriend would take my car, go and hang out with his cousins for hours! Sometimes I wouldn’t see him until early the next morning. I remember one day after he had been out awhile, he came home, and I said something about him having been gone all night. I guess it made him mad because instead of our usual “You this, you that” argument, he pushed me against the wall; he had his hand around my throat. He held me there for what felt like forever until I said, “It hurts!” then, he let go.

That incident was my first experience with physical abuse. During our ten plus years of having an intimate relationship, my boyfriend never hit me; he would push me around and call out my name, but did not get physically violent. So, I did not think twice about his actions being abusive. I never considered I had been in a domestic violence situation. The truth is I had been. Anytime you allow someone to abuse you, whether physically or emotionally, you lose your power.

Remember love doesn’t hurt. Your boyfriend/spouse should value your worth. If they don’t, you need to ask yourself how much do you value your life?

Not every domestic violence situation ends in tragedy, but the fact is that most of them do, the scars just aren’t always visible. I’m honored to be able to tell my story for those who can’t.